ABOUT ME

Sexuality: Asexual. Romance: Demigynoromantic. Gender: Probably bigender. Pronouns: he and she. When referring to me in writing, please use 's/he'.
LANGUAGE
First language: English. Have studied: Latin, Italian. Currently studying: German.
FANDOMS
Legion of Superheroes (Comics and Cartoon). Hetalia. MCU. Discworld. Mercedes Lackey. Tamora Pierce. Ring of Fire/1632-verse.
MY TUMBLR PEOPLE
BigenderFeliciano LSunnyC Cockedtail DarkDranzer88
TAGS
@ [myurl]/tags
SIDEBAR
hubedihubbe. tumblr.com

Before we begin: this is not intended to be an overview of asexuality. It will be covered briefly so everyone is on the same page, but beyond that you should refer yourself to the Resources section for more information. This post is meant to be about incorporating asexual issues into social justice discussions and providing resources for asexuals, demisexuals, gray-as, and their allies.

Asexuality in General

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to people of any gender. It occupies the opposite end of the sexuality spectrum to pansexuality (being sexually attracted to people of all genders). Asexuality is also sometimes called nonsexuality so as not to confuse the identity with the asexual reproduction. Asexuality/nonsexuality’s largest problem is its complete lack of recognition. Unlike homosexuality and bisexuality, which have at least been recognized in human history if generally reviled, asexuality has long been dismissed and asexuals, due to our statistically small numbers- the few scientific studies that cover it have traditionally put the figure at 1% of the human population- isolated and alienated.

Important things to remember about asexuality:

  • It is a sexual orientation; not a behavioral choice like celibacy
  • Since asexuality is a sexual orientation, asexual people are NOT ‘going through a phase’, or ‘haven’t met the right person yet’, or ‘need to be medicated for a hormone imbalance’, ‘abused as a child’, ‘raped’, ‘being stand-offish’, etc.
  • Sexual attraction does not equal sex drive/libido, and neither of those things equal the actual practice of having sex. Someone who does not have a sex drive is a non-libidoist. A person who does not have sex is celibate. A person who does not experience sexual attraction is asexual. A person in any of these categories can be in any other, or just in one.
  • If someone tells you they are asexual, you do NOT, under any circumstances, have the right, privilege, or ability to tell them they aren’t.
  • Rule of thumb to see if your response to asexuality is offensive: replace ‘asexual’ with ‘gay’. Does it sound offensive now?

How to Tell If You Are Asexual

Do you experience sexual attraction to people, i.e. looking at someone and thinking ‘I would like to have sex with that person because they are hot’.

If yes, then you are not asexual.

If no, then you are very likely asexual.

That’s all you need.

It is absolutely and perfectly possible to be asexual and:

  • Want sex
  • Think about sex
  • Have kinks
  • Masturbate
  • Kiss/Make-out
  • Have sex of any sort
  • Watch porn
  • Get turned on/become aroused
  • Read/write/draw smut
  • Be involved in fandom shipping
  • Etc.

This is where you get this wonderful quote from asexualeducation:

For asexuals, sex is like… a donut. When we see a donut, we do not have the urge to eat the donut. This does not necessarily mean we hate the donut, or think the donut is disgusting— many of us even like donuts. But we never have any urge to walk over there and eat it.

Asexuality in Social Justice

Doubtless many asexuals are involved in social justice for feminism, racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and all the other varied places where activism is needed. There are asexuals who suffer under all these things, and are a part of all these communities.

As far as being inclusive of asexual people in talks about social justice, the following list should be of help.

Resources

General

AVEN- The largest and best-known online asexual community. Controversial in some areas because of identity-policing and political games amongst the admins; as well as other things I may potentially not have heard of.

Why Asexual Awareness and Education is a MUST

AceBook- dating and friend-making site for aces, demis, and gray-as. Must be 18 to sign up.

For Vocabulary Help on Sex, Gender, and Orientation

To Find an Asexual-Friendly Therapist, go here

Tips For Teenage Asexuals Forced To Go To Sex Therapy

Swankivy’s Advice Videos on dealing with family and others who have issues with asexuality- Polite and Not So

Swankivy’s Videos and Tumblr in general

Aphobia: It Exists help graphic

Shades of Gray wordpress for everything; but especially the ‘Asexual Masturbation’ and ‘How to Have Sex with an Asexual Person’ posts. The ‘Sex with an Asexual’ post is really everything they never taught you about consent and controlling situations with sex in them.

Carnival of Aces- an ongoing project/compendium of blog posts from multiple authors on different topics in asexuality

A very long and reasonably comprehensive list of asexual community groups, blogs, and sites across the Internet

AceTumblr- a list of asexual users and blogs on Tumblr specifically, always in progress

Asexual Stereotypes (video)

Asexual Bingo for commonly-heard things you really shouldn’t ever say to asexuals, ever

The Asexuality, Asexual, and Asexy Tumblr tags

Note: Anthony Bogaert’s Understanding Asexuality and the documentary (A)sexual by Angela Tucker are usually also included as asexual resources. Anthony Bogaert, while his scientific work was an important marker in asexuality, is a sexual man. There are much better people to find information from, who are actually asexual and know the experiences and the community. (A)sexual missed the mark for a number of asexuals, though it greatly expanded visibility. Its problems with not properly portraying sexual abuse and pressures as such are discussed here; and dissatisfaction/anger with the presence of Dan Savage and Tucker Carlson in the video occurs here.

POC

The only one I could find was Asexual People of Color

Non-American

I did my best to find the proper titles for the groups and provide a description in the language it’s written in, but I know how bad Google Translate can be. All language failures can be attributed to my own bad judgment. If you spot any mistakes, tell me and I’ll correct them.

AVENde- German Asexuality Information and Forum/AVENde- Deutsch Asexualität Informationen und Forum

AVENfr- French Asexuality Information and Forum/AVEnfr- Réseau d’entraide des asexuels francophones et information sur l’asexualité

AVENit- Italian Asexuality Information and Forum/AVENit- la comunità degli asessuali italiani

AVENnd- Dutch Asexuality Information and Forum/AVENnd- Aseksueel Voorlichtings- en Educatie Netwerk

AVENes- Spanish Asexuality Information and Forum/AVENes- Red para la Educación y la Visibilidad de la Asexualidad

a6- Swedish Asexuality Information and Forum/a6- Svensk asexualitet information och forum

Nätverket Asexsuell Twitter and Blogspot

AVEN Czech Republic- Czech Asexuality Information and Forum/AVEN Czech Republic- Česká Asexualita Informace a fórum

Aseksuaalit.net- Finnish Asexuality Information and Forum/Aseksuaalit.net- Suomen Seksuaalisuus Tiedotus ja Forum

פורום א-מיניים- Hebrew Asexuality Information and Forum

asexual.jp- Japanese Asexuality Information and Forum/asexual.jp- 無性情報コミュニケーションサイ

A different Japanese Asexuality Forum- registration required

aseksuell- Norwegian Asexuality Information and Forum/aseksuell- Norske Aseksualitet Informasjon og Forum

SEA- Polish Asexuality Information and Forum/SEA- Sleć Educaji Aseksualnej (Polska)

AVENru- Russian Asexuality Information and Forum/AVEN- Российское Сообщество Асексуалов

Comunidade Assexual- Portugese Asexuality Information and Forum/Comunidade Assexual- Um FÓRUM sobre assexualidade

Aseksüal Online- Turkish Asexuality Information and Forum/Aseksüal Online- Türk Aseksüal Bilgi ve Forum  (Now Defunct)

Two seperate asexuality groups in Simplified Chinese

If anyone else has any resources or asexual issues to add; or has any comments, concerns, or suggestions, please reblog with them or leave me an ask/submission at sophiaphilemon.tumblr.com

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